It is my pleasure to inform you that the Admission Committee has approved your application for admission to Furman University as a resident student and you are invited to enroll in the fall of 2011. Choosing Furman will enable you to enjoy many academic challenges and an abundance of extracurricular opportunities. You have been carefully selected from one of Furman's most talented applicant pools, and I congratulate you on your acceptance!
To become a member of Furman's student body, please sign and return the Statement of Intent form with a non-refundable enrollment deposit of $500 postmarked by January 15, 2011. By signing this statement and paying this deposit, you make a commitment to enroll at Furman and agree to immediately withdraw your applications to all other colleges. The deposit will be refunded, less any fees owed the university, once you have graduated from Furman.
In the coming weeks you will be contacted by various members of the Furman community encouraging you to choose Furman. You should also hear from the Office of Financial Aid within the next two weeks. Through this correspondence will run a common thread: we recognize your talents, accomplishments, and potential and would like to have you join our community.
At the school year's end, you will be asked to submit your final high school transcript so that we may evaluate your senior work. Please know that your offer of admission is contingent upon satisfactory completion of your senior year. Your course selection and grades should continue at the high level of performance you have demonstrated thus far.
I congratulate you once again on your acceptance to Furman and hope that you will choose to enroll!
Sincerely,
Brad Pochard
Director of Admission
Life. Is. Goooooooood.
Hope(FULL)ly,
Stevie
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The Rose Died The Day You Left.
...
Wow.
A giant sigh of relief, a minute to breathe. And all I can say is "wow."
The past few days have been nothing short of amazing.
There's this one quote from the movie "Candy" starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish (a favorite of mine; I highly recommend it) that has been running through my head recently.
"You came into my life really fast and I liked it."
So so so so so so so true.
On another note, the song "Blood" by The Middle East (there's a video in a previous post) has been in my head ALL DAY. I love it though.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Wow.
A giant sigh of relief, a minute to breathe. And all I can say is "wow."
The past few days have been nothing short of amazing.
There's this one quote from the movie "Candy" starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish (a favorite of mine; I highly recommend it) that has been running through my head recently.
"You came into my life really fast and I liked it."
So so so so so so so true.
On another note, the song "Blood" by The Middle East (there's a video in a previous post) has been in my head ALL DAY. I love it though.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Sunday, November 7, 2010
But What Do You Really Want?
I want to graduate.
I want to go to Furman.
I want to be on stage, as much as I can.
I want to make music.
I want to live close to the ocean.
I want to go back to Germany.
asd;fjaklfjasdfjasd
Hopelessly,
Stevie
I want to go to Furman.
I want to be on stage, as much as I can.
I want to make music.
I want to live close to the ocean.
I want to go back to Germany.
asd;fjaklfjasdfjasd
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Slack, Coffee, Middle Finger.
I'm in one of those "Right Away, Great Captain" moods. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, just listen to this.
First off, a big apology for being so slack and not writing in what feels like forever. I've kindof been caught up in life and blah blah blah. But not a lot has changed. I still hate my job, but hopefully this new manager will make things more tolerable. School is the same. Just trying my hardest to get OUT OF THERE.
On a lighter note, I went and visited Furman University this past Saturday, and I must say that I am in love. And if I am not accepted then I will so greatly devastated. ):
I'm in a band! I love our sound.
http://www.purevolume.com/bridgenorth
and like us on facebook! :)
Nothing else is really new. The same old "get lied to" spiel is continuing. So, while I'm mentioning it, a grand ol' middle finger to you, sir! :-)
Hopelessly,
Stevie
First off, a big apology for being so slack and not writing in what feels like forever. I've kindof been caught up in life and blah blah blah. But not a lot has changed. I still hate my job, but hopefully this new manager will make things more tolerable. School is the same. Just trying my hardest to get OUT OF THERE.
On a lighter note, I went and visited Furman University this past Saturday, and I must say that I am in love. And if I am not accepted then I will so greatly devastated. ):
I'm in a band! I love our sound.
http://www.purevolume.com/bridgenorth
and like us on facebook! :)
Nothing else is really new. The same old "get lied to" spiel is continuing. So, while I'm mentioning it, a grand ol' middle finger to you, sir! :-)
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, October 18, 2010
Windows Down, Car In Drive.
Today was good.
I like where this is going.
Bran <333333
:)
Fair tomorrow, I'm ready to clog my arteries!
OH AND WHAT'S UP 95 IN ENGLISH 101?!?!?!
Stoked about that! :)
"When we're out in the market and out on the street, I've got a pocket full of problems and a pocket full of seeds; hoping something good might grow out of this mistletoe and I won't have to erase your memory. I like the way that our arguments stop when we fall asleep, and the way that your body feels when it's wrapped around me. And I'd like it if you made it to mine by Christmas Eve so you can hold me; and we'll watch Christmas TV.."
I'm in a really creative/indie/upbeat mood... I like it.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
I like where this is going.
Bran <333333
:)
Fair tomorrow, I'm ready to clog my arteries!
OH AND WHAT'S UP 95 IN ENGLISH 101?!?!?!
Stoked about that! :)
"When we're out in the market and out on the street, I've got a pocket full of problems and a pocket full of seeds; hoping something good might grow out of this mistletoe and I won't have to erase your memory. I like the way that our arguments stop when we fall asleep, and the way that your body feels when it's wrapped around me. And I'd like it if you made it to mine by Christmas Eve so you can hold me; and we'll watch Christmas TV.."
I'm in a really creative/indie/upbeat mood... I like it.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Day Ten/Day Eleven!
Day Ten: One confession.
1. I worry a lot about my future, and where I'm headed. If I'll get into a college that I want to go to, if I'll get married and have kids. If I'll live on friends' couches, or have my own house. If I'll be a theatre teacher, or work in a cubicle. I don't like not knowing.
Sorry, I was kindof slack yesterday and extremely busy! As soon as I got out of school, I went and got my check, went to the bank, and stopped by to see Nana. Then I went and saw Bran and his family for a bit, then got picked up by Mitch and his Mom and drove to Lake City/Kingstree for this carnival thing. It was fun. :) We got home really late and I fell asleep as soon as I hit my pillow.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. I worry a lot about my future, and where I'm headed. If I'll get into a college that I want to go to, if I'll get married and have kids. If I'll live on friends' couches, or have my own house. If I'll be a theatre teacher, or work in a cubicle. I don't like not knowing.
Sorry, I was kindof slack yesterday and extremely busy! As soon as I got out of school, I went and got my check, went to the bank, and stopped by to see Nana. Then I went and saw Bran and his family for a bit, then got picked up by Mitch and his Mom and drove to Lake City/Kingstree for this carnival thing. It was fun. :) We got home really late and I fell asleep as soon as I hit my pillow.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Day Nine.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
1. :)
2. :/
Today was good, surprisingly. Even though I didn't have a 4th block today because 101 is over, I went and sat with Mrs. Sullivan to get help with my lab notebook. I'm so disappointed with my grade in that class... :/ Also, I've become slightly addicted to dubstep. And now I know that 95% of Lugoff will also become addicted to dubstep after listening to this. I wish I saw a little more originality around here...
http://www.scenesc.com/2010/10/14/photospan-death-on-two-wheels-obrother-and-all-get-out/
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. :)
2. :/
Today was good, surprisingly. Even though I didn't have a 4th block today because 101 is over, I went and sat with Mrs. Sullivan to get help with my lab notebook. I'm so disappointed with my grade in that class... :/ Also, I've become slightly addicted to dubstep. And now I know that 95% of Lugoff will also become addicted to dubstep after listening to this. I wish I saw a little more originality around here...
http://www.scenesc.com/2010/10/14/photospan-death-on-two-wheels-obrother-and-all-get-out/
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day Eight.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
1. Being a musician. Yum yum yum yum yum. Love that more than anything.
2. Being a gentleman; you know, the manners, the open the car door, pay for dinner kindof thing. Love it.
3. Being adventurous. Loveee that. New and exciting.
Today was pretty hilarious. I went in to school at 10 because the sophomores were taking the PSAT or something, and then I was told to come back at 11 because they weren't done. So Danny and I went to Waffle House and it was great.
Also, my English 101 final was today, and I KILLED IT. I was correcting sentences like a boss, and my paper is bad-"a". WUDDUP JOHN ELLEN!? Word.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. Being a musician. Yum yum yum yum yum. Love that more than anything.
2. Being a gentleman; you know, the manners, the open the car door, pay for dinner kindof thing. Love it.
3. Being adventurous. Loveee that. New and exciting.
Today was pretty hilarious. I went in to school at 10 because the sophomores were taking the PSAT or something, and then I was told to come back at 11 because they weren't done. So Danny and I went to Waffle House and it was great.
Also, my English 101 final was today, and I KILLED IT. I was correcting sentences like a boss, and my paper is bad-"a". WUDDUP JOHN ELLEN!? Word.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Day Seven.
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
1. Not knowing when to be serious. Don't get me wrong, I love sarcasm and thrive off of it, but there's a time and place for everything. Don't play with my feelings.
2. Having no taste/terrible taste in music. GROSS. I love introducing people to new, awesome music, but come on. You need to know songs/artists that don't consist entirely of making money, having sex, and doing drugs.
3. Do not be ignorant, arrogant, or over-confident. That's unattractive and plain rude.
4. IMPROPER GRAMMAR. Get it together, please.
Ohhhh I am so confused.
A;KFJAKL;JFLDAJLJDL; is how I feel.
I love this song <3
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. Not knowing when to be serious. Don't get me wrong, I love sarcasm and thrive off of it, but there's a time and place for everything. Don't play with my feelings.
2. Having no taste/terrible taste in music. GROSS. I love introducing people to new, awesome music, but come on. You need to know songs/artists that don't consist entirely of making money, having sex, and doing drugs.
3. Do not be ignorant, arrogant, or over-confident. That's unattractive and plain rude.
4. IMPROPER GRAMMAR. Get it together, please.
Ohhhh I am so confused.
A;KFJAKL;JFLDAJLJDL; is how I feel.
I love this song <3
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, October 11, 2010
Day Six.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
1. Katherine J Horton.
2. Muti.
3. Matt.
4. Nana.
5. ______
Today was actually really good. I got like 2394057 compliments on my hair because it was straight. Odd, but thank you. Means a lot. I'm about to go get ready and get my senior pictures done for the yearbook! :) I can't believe it's already October. May 28 will be here shortly... Where has the time gone?
Oh and big thank you to KENDALL WALTERS for my cupcake <33 You're wonderful.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. Katherine J Horton.
2. Muti.
3. Matt.
4. Nana.
5. ______
Today was actually really good. I got like 2394057 compliments on my hair because it was straight. Odd, but thank you. Means a lot. I'm about to go get ready and get my senior pictures done for the yearbook! :) I can't believe it's already October. May 28 will be here shortly... Where has the time gone?
Oh and big thank you to KENDALL WALTERS for my cupcake <33 You're wonderful.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Tage Fünf.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. Dated Chad. 'Nuff said.
2. Lied to Mom about that trip to Charleston last December.
3. Taken AP Chem.
4. Gotten a job at Chili's. It sucks.
5. Touched that burning hot skillet at work. That sucked.
6. Broken a heart.
Meh meh meh. This weekend was bland. But it was good seeing Sarah and Megan. They're both genuine people and I like hanging with them. Also glad I could see my best friend Kat! :) Hopefully this week will get better. This is my last week in English 101 and 102 starts the week after. Thank God.
Also, while I think about it, I think I'm going to go off the radar this week. As in, not taking phone calls, not answering texts, nothing. The only place I'll be out in public will be at work and school. This could be good for me.
So, sorry in advance for any inconvenience.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. Dated Chad. 'Nuff said.
2. Lied to Mom about that trip to Charleston last December.
3. Taken AP Chem.
4. Gotten a job at Chili's. It sucks.
5. Touched that burning hot skillet at work. That sucked.
6. Broken a heart.
Meh meh meh. This weekend was bland. But it was good seeing Sarah and Megan. They're both genuine people and I like hanging with them. Also glad I could see my best friend Kat! :) Hopefully this week will get better. This is my last week in English 101 and 102 starts the week after. Thank God.
Also, while I think about it, I think I'm going to go off the radar this week. As in, not taking phone calls, not answering texts, nothing. The only place I'll be out in public will be at work and school. This could be good for me.
So, sorry in advance for any inconvenience.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Day Four.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1. What time is it?
2. COLLEGE APPS, GET THEM DONE!
3. Snaaaaack time.
4. I wonder what ____ is doing right now.
5. How many days left til graduation?
6. Work schedule.
7. ____ is playing a show at NBT on ____. :)
Sorry, this one wasn't as interesting or as detailed as previous posts.
Maybe I'll write something else later.
(5 minutes later...)
OH WAIT. I forgot about something. As awesome as I think it is to see so many people doing this ten day challenge, I do have one concern that I'd like to bring up.
I posted this ten-day challenge to challenge myself, and to be able to look back and see my answers. Again, I love that so many people have also gotten into this but DO NOT STEAL/CHANGE/MODIFY my answers and use them as yours. In college, they call that plagiarism and that's NOT COOL. I don't mean to start anything, because that's not the type of person that I am, but come on guys. Get a little original, will you?
Rant over.
Oh and one more thing: I just found this video of one of my favorite bands, Junior Astronomers. This song explains my life right now. Terrance, I love your baby dreads.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. What time is it?
2. COLLEGE APPS, GET THEM DONE!
3. Snaaaaack time.
4. I wonder what ____ is doing right now.
5. How many days left til graduation?
6. Work schedule.
7. ____ is playing a show at NBT on ____. :)
Sorry, this one wasn't as interesting or as detailed as previous posts.
Maybe I'll write something else later.
(5 minutes later...)
OH WAIT. I forgot about something. As awesome as I think it is to see so many people doing this ten day challenge, I do have one concern that I'd like to bring up.
I posted this ten-day challenge to challenge myself, and to be able to look back and see my answers. Again, I love that so many people have also gotten into this but DO NOT STEAL/CHANGE/MODIFY my answers and use them as yours. In college, they call that plagiarism and that's NOT COOL. I don't mean to start anything, because that's not the type of person that I am, but come on guys. Get a little original, will you?
Rant over.
Oh and one more thing: I just found this video of one of my favorite bands, Junior Astronomers. This song explains my life right now. Terrance, I love your baby dreads.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Friday, October 8, 2010
Day Three.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
1. Have a love for music. Appreciate it. Judge songs by their lyrics and the emotions, not how popular they are on the radio. Sing me a song, play me a song, send me a link to your favorite song.
2. Go on a roadtrip with me to the beach. Make a good mix CD and have an intelligent conversation on the way there.
3. Call me beautiful instead of hot, sexy, or anything else that has no essence behind it. Trust me, it means a lot more than you think.
4. Take me on an adventure. Whether it be your favorite spot in the middle of nowhere, or on a scavenger hunt in a huge city. Be the person to plan a date.
5. Be a good person. Do not lie to me, ignore me intentionally, lead me on, or be disrespectful. This also includes having manners!
6. Surprise me. Unexpected cards, flowers, dinner, whatever. I'm a sucker for it all.
7. Bring me around your friends and your family. I'm a cool girl, and I can adapt to pretty much any situation. I promise that my sarcastic personality as well as my laid back attitude will go over well with your friends and your fam!
8. Express yourself and how you feel. I'm not a mindreader. If you're upset, let me know. If you're happy, let me know. I'll listen.
So there you go. 8 ways to win my heart.
Last night sucked. I was in the ER until 1:30 in the morning.
I hope this weekend will go over well...
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. Have a love for music. Appreciate it. Judge songs by their lyrics and the emotions, not how popular they are on the radio. Sing me a song, play me a song, send me a link to your favorite song.
2. Go on a roadtrip with me to the beach. Make a good mix CD and have an intelligent conversation on the way there.
3. Call me beautiful instead of hot, sexy, or anything else that has no essence behind it. Trust me, it means a lot more than you think.
4. Take me on an adventure. Whether it be your favorite spot in the middle of nowhere, or on a scavenger hunt in a huge city. Be the person to plan a date.
5. Be a good person. Do not lie to me, ignore me intentionally, lead me on, or be disrespectful. This also includes having manners!
6. Surprise me. Unexpected cards, flowers, dinner, whatever. I'm a sucker for it all.
7. Bring me around your friends and your family. I'm a cool girl, and I can adapt to pretty much any situation. I promise that my sarcastic personality as well as my laid back attitude will go over well with your friends and your fam!
8. Express yourself and how you feel. I'm not a mindreader. If you're upset, let me know. If you're happy, let me know. I'll listen.
So there you go. 8 ways to win my heart.
Last night sucked. I was in the ER until 1:30 in the morning.
I hope this weekend will go over well...
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Day Two.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
1. My favorite color is green. Like my eyes. I think I have the most beautiful eyes in the world. And I don't say that because I'm conceited, I say it because I'm confident. There is a vast difference.
2. I love the beach, but not for the reasons that most people do. I don't go to look at hotties with no shirts on (I mean that's a plus...); I go because I enjoy the smell of the ocean, and the feel of the sand. I like laying and basking in the sunlight.
3. I am a musician. I play soprano ukulele, baritone ukulele, a little bit of the piano, any brass instrument (tuba, trombone, trumpet, french horn, etc..), and I can somewhat sing. I appreciate music as an art.
4. I appreciate the smallest things from gentlemen. A "good morning beautiful" text message, a card, flowers, a hug, a smile, a song, whatever! I love it.
5. I'm really insecure about my smile and my weight.
6. I can't wait to go to college; I'm a theater major. (Well, for now). I haven't decided where I want to go yet, and I'm still applying to places. Top choices at the moment are Furman, Coastal, and CofC.
7. I am a Christian, and I respect everyone's opinions about religion. Psalm 55:22.
8. I have this odd obsession with sailboats, starfish, seahorses, and anything nautical. I'll have to post a picture of my room.
9. I speak German. I went on a German exchange and had the time of my life. I plan to go back again, soon.
Today was actually a great day. School is becoming much more manageable. ALSO; John Ellen gave me a 96 on my research paper, and said that he'd bump it up to a 98 if I emailed him a copy. HOLY JUNK. I seriously almost vomitted once I got that back. Success.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
1. My favorite color is green. Like my eyes. I think I have the most beautiful eyes in the world. And I don't say that because I'm conceited, I say it because I'm confident. There is a vast difference.
2. I love the beach, but not for the reasons that most people do. I don't go to look at hotties with no shirts on (I mean that's a plus...); I go because I enjoy the smell of the ocean, and the feel of the sand. I like laying and basking in the sunlight.
3. I am a musician. I play soprano ukulele, baritone ukulele, a little bit of the piano, any brass instrument (tuba, trombone, trumpet, french horn, etc..), and I can somewhat sing. I appreciate music as an art.
4. I appreciate the smallest things from gentlemen. A "good morning beautiful" text message, a card, flowers, a hug, a smile, a song, whatever! I love it.
5. I'm really insecure about my smile and my weight.
6. I can't wait to go to college; I'm a theater major. (Well, for now). I haven't decided where I want to go yet, and I'm still applying to places. Top choices at the moment are Furman, Coastal, and CofC.
7. I am a Christian, and I respect everyone's opinions about religion. Psalm 55:22.
8. I have this odd obsession with sailboats, starfish, seahorses, and anything nautical. I'll have to post a picture of my room.
9. I speak German. I went on a German exchange and had the time of my life. I plan to go back again, soon.
Today was actually a great day. School is becoming much more manageable. ALSO; John Ellen gave me a 96 on my research paper, and said that he'd bump it up to a 98 if I emailed him a copy. HOLY JUNK. I seriously almost vomitted once I got that back. Success.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Ten-Day Challenge. (Day One!)
I saw this on someone's tumblr, and thought it might be enjoyable. I mean, anything is worth a shot.
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
Day One:
1. I know you only want what is best for me, but sometimes I wish that you'd just let me decide everything. I appreciate your input, but I need to live and learn. "Just let me run where I want to run, just let me love who I want..."
2. I admire your spirit in Christ. I'm sorry that things have been difficult for you lately, but you know I am here for you. You've become my best friend at Lugoff. Thank you for everything.
3. You're hard to read. I've always had a teeny weeny crush on you, but being in a class with you this year has just expanded that. I love your taste in music, and I hope you enjoy me introducing you to new music. I think you have a fabulous voice, and I am waiting on a song just for me. ;) Maybe something will happen with us, maybe not. Again, YOU'RE SO HARD TO READ. But, I think you're hilarious and a total cutie.
4. I hate how you used me as your backup girl. And yet I still have an ounce of feelings for you.
5. You are such a strong person! I really hope you don't get accepted to Harvard and we can go to college together... You're there for me through everything. And I'm so glad that we have had the opportunities to laugh together and create a bunch of crazy memories! Thanks for being my best friend.
6. You have ruined my life. You are such a lowlife. I have no respect for you, and it blows my mind to know that people are still your friend after everything that you did/said to me. You are a worthless whore.
7. Same goes for you.
8. You are an inspiration. I hope to get a degree in theatre and be as great of a teacher as you are.
9. I MISS YOU SO MUCH! You showed me the time of my life in Germany. You're like a sister to me, and I wish you were here right now. America misses you, darling. Come visit me soon. <3
10. I HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I'm done with you, for good.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.
Day One:
1. I know you only want what is best for me, but sometimes I wish that you'd just let me decide everything. I appreciate your input, but I need to live and learn. "Just let me run where I want to run, just let me love who I want..."
2. I admire your spirit in Christ. I'm sorry that things have been difficult for you lately, but you know I am here for you. You've become my best friend at Lugoff. Thank you for everything.
3. You're hard to read. I've always had a teeny weeny crush on you, but being in a class with you this year has just expanded that. I love your taste in music, and I hope you enjoy me introducing you to new music. I think you have a fabulous voice, and I am waiting on a song just for me. ;) Maybe something will happen with us, maybe not. Again, YOU'RE SO HARD TO READ. But, I think you're hilarious and a total cutie.
4. I hate how you used me as your backup girl. And yet I still have an ounce of feelings for you.
5. You are such a strong person! I really hope you don't get accepted to Harvard and we can go to college together... You're there for me through everything. And I'm so glad that we have had the opportunities to laugh together and create a bunch of crazy memories! Thanks for being my best friend.
6. You have ruined my life. You are such a lowlife. I have no respect for you, and it blows my mind to know that people are still your friend after everything that you did/said to me. You are a worthless whore.
7. Same goes for you.
8. You are an inspiration. I hope to get a degree in theatre and be as great of a teacher as you are.
9. I MISS YOU SO MUCH! You showed me the time of my life in Germany. You're like a sister to me, and I wish you were here right now. America misses you, darling. Come visit me soon. <3
10. I HATE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I'm done with you, for good.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Little Lion Man.
I have all of this love bottled up and I'm just dying to let someone have a share of it.
And I really like both of those, that's why I posted them.
I am tired of all of these stupid trendy scene kids out here in this town. Vintage vintage vintage FTW.
Gross. Be real.
OH AND I HATE MY JOB. D:<
Hopelessly,
Stevie
And I really like both of those, that's why I posted them.
I am tired of all of these stupid trendy scene kids out here in this town. Vintage vintage vintage FTW.
Gross. Be real.
OH AND I HATE MY JOB. D:<
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, October 4, 2010
Innocence vs. Experience
Life has gotten much better since September 21, 2010. Awesome.
First of all, I am finally over PJ. Yep. Go me. I've finally realized that I can't change him. I cannot make him the same person that he was. And I'm okay with that. I am no longer going to put forth any effort whatsoever to try and change him. So, yeah. Good stuff.
Secondly, these past two weekends have been great. Two weekends ago, I went to a house show and saw a good friend, Jordan, play. His voice is so impressive. And I got to hang out with Danny, Brandon, Ben, Michael, Kim, and Taylor. Which was cool. First group of people that I've hung with outside of school. That Saturday I went to Irmo High School with Matt to watch marching bands. It was fun. And then we went and had dinner with Katherine and my favorite restaurant, Mellow Mushroom. That was great.
This past weekend was by far the best. Friday night I got off of work and hung out with Sarah, Megan, Bob, and Jeff. Sarah and Megan are both really cool girls, and I'm glad they invited me to hang with them. Goes to show that there are actually some decent people in Lugoff. Saturday was great too! I went with my Mom and sisters to Newberry, SC to go to the Oktoberfest there. It wasn't all it was made out to be. But a great road trip and fun stuff. Then that night, Kat and I went to the freetimes musiccrawl, and crashed the Italian festival. Probably the most hilarious night of my life, and I will never forget it. I also have the Italian flag to remember it by.
All in all, life is moving along. School is moving along, and all of these pointless projects, endless amounts of homework, and stupid tests/quizzes will be over soon.
In the words of the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, "Skip classes, take chances, have fun; 'cause when it's over, it is done."
Amen.
ALSO! My English professor gave us this poem today. I love it.
"Johnny wrote a poem on yellow paper with green lines
and called it 'Family.'
And his teacher gave him an 'A' because that was what it was all about.
And his mother hung it up on the kitchen wall for all their friends to see.
And that was the year his little sister was born.
And the girl next door always smiled at him.
And his daddy tucked him in every night.
Johnny wrote a poem on white paper with blue lines.
And called it 'Love' because that was what it was all about.
And his teacher gave him an 'A-'
and told him to improve his grammar.
And his mother told him to take that stupid thing off the kitchen wall
because it had just been painted.
And the girl next door laughed at him when he fell off his bike.
And his dad got mad when he cried to be tucked in every night.
Johnny wrote a poem on plain white paper
And called it 'Peace of Mind.'
Because that was what he really wanted.
And that was the year he caught his sister necking on the porch.
And he found out theat when he kissed her
that the girl next door wore too much make-up.
And he tucked himself in every night.
Around three o'clock.
Johnny wrote a poem on the back of a book of matches.
And called it 'Absolutely Nothing.'
Because that was what it was.
And he gave himself an 'A,'
And two slashes on his wrists.
And he hung it on the bathroom wall.
Because he couldn't make it to the kitchen."
-Author unknown.
Hopelessly,
Stevie.
First of all, I am finally over PJ. Yep. Go me. I've finally realized that I can't change him. I cannot make him the same person that he was. And I'm okay with that. I am no longer going to put forth any effort whatsoever to try and change him. So, yeah. Good stuff.
Secondly, these past two weekends have been great. Two weekends ago, I went to a house show and saw a good friend, Jordan, play. His voice is so impressive. And I got to hang out with Danny, Brandon, Ben, Michael, Kim, and Taylor. Which was cool. First group of people that I've hung with outside of school. That Saturday I went to Irmo High School with Matt to watch marching bands. It was fun. And then we went and had dinner with Katherine and my favorite restaurant, Mellow Mushroom. That was great.
This past weekend was by far the best. Friday night I got off of work and hung out with Sarah, Megan, Bob, and Jeff. Sarah and Megan are both really cool girls, and I'm glad they invited me to hang with them. Goes to show that there are actually some decent people in Lugoff. Saturday was great too! I went with my Mom and sisters to Newberry, SC to go to the Oktoberfest there. It wasn't all it was made out to be. But a great road trip and fun stuff. Then that night, Kat and I went to the freetimes musiccrawl, and crashed the Italian festival. Probably the most hilarious night of my life, and I will never forget it. I also have the Italian flag to remember it by.
All in all, life is moving along. School is moving along, and all of these pointless projects, endless amounts of homework, and stupid tests/quizzes will be over soon.
In the words of the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, "Skip classes, take chances, have fun; 'cause when it's over, it is done."
Amen.
ALSO! My English professor gave us this poem today. I love it.
"Johnny wrote a poem on yellow paper with green lines
and called it 'Family.'
And his teacher gave him an 'A' because that was what it was all about.
And his mother hung it up on the kitchen wall for all their friends to see.
And that was the year his little sister was born.
And the girl next door always smiled at him.
And his daddy tucked him in every night.
Johnny wrote a poem on white paper with blue lines.
And called it 'Love' because that was what it was all about.
And his teacher gave him an 'A-'
and told him to improve his grammar.
And his mother told him to take that stupid thing off the kitchen wall
because it had just been painted.
And the girl next door laughed at him when he fell off his bike.
And his dad got mad when he cried to be tucked in every night.
Johnny wrote a poem on plain white paper
And called it 'Peace of Mind.'
Because that was what he really wanted.
And that was the year he caught his sister necking on the porch.
And he found out theat when he kissed her
that the girl next door wore too much make-up.
And he tucked himself in every night.
Around three o'clock.
Johnny wrote a poem on the back of a book of matches.
And called it 'Absolutely Nothing.'
Because that was what it was.
And he gave himself an 'A,'
And two slashes on his wrists.
And he hung it on the bathroom wall.
Because he couldn't make it to the kitchen."
-Author unknown.
Hopelessly,
Stevie.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Timing Is Everything.
"Everything affects everything."
I don't know how to begin here. My life motto lately has been "everything happens for a reason." And I find this to be true. But the real question is why? Why do things have to happen the way they do?
I feel as if a lot of things would've been done differently in my life if they would've occurred at different times.
If I wouldn't have moved, I wouldn't have met my best friend. I wouldn't have fallen in love. I wouldn't have been bullied. I wouldn't have been hurt so much by a select few people. I wouldn't have met so many people. I wouldn't have gone to Germany. I wouldn't regret a lot of things.
But it happened. And I can't take that back. So should I be thankful?
I have a few things to say to certain people, but don't feel confident enough to put their names. Sorry.
1. UGH. You are so frustrating and I don't know why I let you control my emotions. But you do. Sometimes I feel so strong and I feel as if I've moved on, but I haven't. I was pretending to be strong. Really, I'm weak. I wish I could let you go, but things are easier said than done. I think you're done with me though. I hate that. I wish things were back like they were before.
2. WE HAVE BAD TIMING. I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. I'm proud of you for joining the Marines and doing something with your life! And I know you're chasing after me, but maybe I want to chase you. Ease up on me a bit. I promise, if you lead I'll follow. And I'm still waiting on all of your promises. I hope things will work out.
3. In the words of Copeland, "just let me run where I want to run, just let me love who I want." Please.
4. Thank you for always being there for me. I don't tell you that enough. I hope we will always remain best friends.
I have a lot of things to say, and a lot on my mind, and a lot that I need to do and I feel OVERWHELMED.
Timing affects everything.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
I don't know how to begin here. My life motto lately has been "everything happens for a reason." And I find this to be true. But the real question is why? Why do things have to happen the way they do?
I feel as if a lot of things would've been done differently in my life if they would've occurred at different times.
If I wouldn't have moved, I wouldn't have met my best friend. I wouldn't have fallen in love. I wouldn't have been bullied. I wouldn't have been hurt so much by a select few people. I wouldn't have met so many people. I wouldn't have gone to Germany. I wouldn't regret a lot of things.
But it happened. And I can't take that back. So should I be thankful?
I have a few things to say to certain people, but don't feel confident enough to put their names. Sorry.
1. UGH. You are so frustrating and I don't know why I let you control my emotions. But you do. Sometimes I feel so strong and I feel as if I've moved on, but I haven't. I was pretending to be strong. Really, I'm weak. I wish I could let you go, but things are easier said than done. I think you're done with me though. I hate that. I wish things were back like they were before.
2. WE HAVE BAD TIMING. I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. I'm proud of you for joining the Marines and doing something with your life! And I know you're chasing after me, but maybe I want to chase you. Ease up on me a bit. I promise, if you lead I'll follow. And I'm still waiting on all of your promises. I hope things will work out.
3. In the words of Copeland, "just let me run where I want to run, just let me love who I want." Please.
4. Thank you for always being there for me. I don't tell you that enough. I hope we will always remain best friends.
I have a lot of things to say, and a lot on my mind, and a lot that I need to do and I feel OVERWHELMED.
Timing affects everything.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Thursday, September 9, 2010
You Don't Know Me
My name is Stevie.
I am seventeen years old.
I like starfish, sailboats, and seahorses.
I love the way the sunset looks.
I like going to church.
I could spend every waking moment of my day playing my ukulele.
I love Charleston.
I love Folly Beach.
I am 5'3, and have size 5-6 feet.
I'm graduating this year.
I appreciate the simple things.
I don't have many friends.
My favorite bible verse is Psalm 55:22. (LOOK IT UP!)
I like my green eyes.
I know what it feels like to love.
I know what it feels like to hate.
I've been bullied.
I have a respect for musicians, and people with intelligence.
I have problems respecting authority figures.
-And I can thank Airport High School for that.
I love my family, but I never tell them that.
If I die tomorrow, I'd like to know that I've changed one person's life.
I'm a huge movie critic.
I don't know where I want to go to college.
In fact, I don't even know myself.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
I am seventeen years old.
I like starfish, sailboats, and seahorses.
I love the way the sunset looks.
I like going to church.
I could spend every waking moment of my day playing my ukulele.
I love Charleston.
I love Folly Beach.
I am 5'3, and have size 5-6 feet.
I'm graduating this year.
I appreciate the simple things.
I don't have many friends.
My favorite bible verse is Psalm 55:22. (LOOK IT UP!)
I like my green eyes.
I know what it feels like to love.
I know what it feels like to hate.
I've been bullied.
I have a respect for musicians, and people with intelligence.
I have problems respecting authority figures.
-And I can thank Airport High School for that.
I love my family, but I never tell them that.
If I die tomorrow, I'd like to know that I've changed one person's life.
I'm a huge movie critic.
I don't know where I want to go to college.
In fact, I don't even know myself.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, August 30, 2010
Begin, Rant.
Where to start.
Today was my 11th day of school. I am ready to graduate. Most of the time I wish that my mom would've allowed me to have graduated last year. She wanted me to have my "perfect senior year," and I appreciate that. I know that she always says that I should take advantage of the moments that I have left as a kid, because I'll be an adult the rest of my life. But, I kindof wanted a headstart. I am not "miserable" at school. I just think a lot of things could be going better. I do not have friends. Matt sits with me everyday at lunch, and most of the time I think it is out of pity. No one from school ever calls me to grab lunch, or to study together, or to even invite me over on a friday night. I am alone over here. Don't get me wrong, I do have best friends, but they don't go to LE. So that's difficult. And it's not like I'm a complete loner. People say hey to me on a daily basis at school. But that's not friendship. They know nothing about me. I wish they did.
PJ. I wrote you a letter in an earlier post. And I meant a lot of it. But, I still have a lot to say to you. I don't have any closure with you/our relationship. I don't think I am over you. I still have feelings for you, well, the person that you used to be. The fun loving/outgoing/romantic PJ. Not the jerk PJ who never called, never calls, never will call. Not the PJ who continues to ignore me. I think about you a lot, PJ. I wish things would just work out. I wish that we were still together. You were/are the most beautiful person to me, inside and out. I still care for you, probably much more than I actually should. I know that you're under a lot of stress right now, with all of your financial/surgery stuff going on. But when was I never there for you, PJ? I was not the girl/still am not the girl that wants to cling onto your leg every second of the day. No. I was caring, and comforting, and kind. I don't know what else to say to you, PJ. I can't make you come back to me, I can't make you want to be my boyfriend again. I can't make you BE a good boyfriend again. I just wish that you could see where I was coming from, and understand me.
Matt. ^As you can see, I am not over PJ. I think we are better off as friends, as we have discussed before. Let's not make this more confusing than it has to be. You mean a lot to me, and know that I am here for you. Always.
I AM STRESSED OUT/OVERWHELMED. Applying to college, taking the ACT, scheduling senior pictures, working (well, hardly working), etc etc ETC.
But, I found a new church that I will become a member of. Northpoint Community Church in Northeast Columbia. I love it.
Rant over.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Today was my 11th day of school. I am ready to graduate. Most of the time I wish that my mom would've allowed me to have graduated last year. She wanted me to have my "perfect senior year," and I appreciate that. I know that she always says that I should take advantage of the moments that I have left as a kid, because I'll be an adult the rest of my life. But, I kindof wanted a headstart. I am not "miserable" at school. I just think a lot of things could be going better. I do not have friends. Matt sits with me everyday at lunch, and most of the time I think it is out of pity. No one from school ever calls me to grab lunch, or to study together, or to even invite me over on a friday night. I am alone over here. Don't get me wrong, I do have best friends, but they don't go to LE. So that's difficult. And it's not like I'm a complete loner. People say hey to me on a daily basis at school. But that's not friendship. They know nothing about me. I wish they did.
PJ. I wrote you a letter in an earlier post. And I meant a lot of it. But, I still have a lot to say to you. I don't have any closure with you/our relationship. I don't think I am over you. I still have feelings for you, well, the person that you used to be. The fun loving/outgoing/romantic PJ. Not the jerk PJ who never called, never calls, never will call. Not the PJ who continues to ignore me. I think about you a lot, PJ. I wish things would just work out. I wish that we were still together. You were/are the most beautiful person to me, inside and out. I still care for you, probably much more than I actually should. I know that you're under a lot of stress right now, with all of your financial/surgery stuff going on. But when was I never there for you, PJ? I was not the girl/still am not the girl that wants to cling onto your leg every second of the day. No. I was caring, and comforting, and kind. I don't know what else to say to you, PJ. I can't make you come back to me, I can't make you want to be my boyfriend again. I can't make you BE a good boyfriend again. I just wish that you could see where I was coming from, and understand me.
Matt. ^As you can see, I am not over PJ. I think we are better off as friends, as we have discussed before. Let's not make this more confusing than it has to be. You mean a lot to me, and know that I am here for you. Always.
I AM STRESSED OUT/OVERWHELMED. Applying to college, taking the ACT, scheduling senior pictures, working (well, hardly working), etc etc ETC.
But, I found a new church that I will become a member of. Northpoint Community Church in Northeast Columbia. I love it.
Rant over.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, August 16, 2010
I'll Never Lose My Faith
Just yesterday I was wearing a pink frilly dress to Kindergarten and fighting my mom about bathtime... Now I'm a senior. Today was the first day of school. Lugoff-Elgin is different than I expected it to be. Today was not the greatest day, but thankfully I had a few people to help me along the way. Thank you, Matthew Wiesen, for walking me to class. You make me very happy sir and I'm really excited with where things are headed between us.
"You're pretty, you have gorgeous eyes, I think it's incredible that you used to do guard, you have a great sense of humor, you're not the typical girl or at least not to me, you're intelligent, you know how to make me smile, you give great hugs, you sing amazingly, it's amazing you can play ukulele, you still believe in romanticism and I find that attractive. You have an incredible taste in music, you're adventurous and I love that. I love your sarcasm, I feel as if I could talk to you about anything, I love your openness. I can have a conversation about anything with you, and I like the way your hair smelt (from the shooting stars). I think it's cute when you laugh how bad my German is. You're an incredibly cute person with a cute personality, and I like you. And I like that you're into theatre and that one of our favorite colors is green."
I feel like a lot of things in my life are finally falling into place. This is going to be good.
John 3:16. It has helped me a lot recently.
I've been thinking a lot. My walk with Christ is NOT where it needs to be. I need to devote myself. To just take time out of my day to be still and just talk to him. I have a lot of stuff I need to pray about. I know He'll help me out of this. He always does. Pray for me.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
"You're pretty, you have gorgeous eyes, I think it's incredible that you used to do guard, you have a great sense of humor, you're not the typical girl or at least not to me, you're intelligent, you know how to make me smile, you give great hugs, you sing amazingly, it's amazing you can play ukulele, you still believe in romanticism and I find that attractive. You have an incredible taste in music, you're adventurous and I love that. I love your sarcasm, I feel as if I could talk to you about anything, I love your openness. I can have a conversation about anything with you, and I like the way your hair smelt (from the shooting stars). I think it's cute when you laugh how bad my German is. You're an incredibly cute person with a cute personality, and I like you. And I like that you're into theatre and that one of our favorite colors is green."
I feel like a lot of things in my life are finally falling into place. This is going to be good.
John 3:16. It has helped me a lot recently.
I've been thinking a lot. My walk with Christ is NOT where it needs to be. I need to devote myself. To just take time out of my day to be still and just talk to him. I have a lot of stuff I need to pray about. I know He'll help me out of this. He always does. Pray for me.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, August 9, 2010
Letters
I have a few things I have to get off of my chest.
Dear __,
First of all, let me say how much you have changed my life. I haven't figured out if it is for the good or the bad yet. Probably the bad. But, thanks for being the first guy to take me on dates, instead of "chilling" or "hanging out." That meant so much to me. You were everything that I was looking for. You were attractive, but that wasn't what I noticed about you first. You had the warmest heart. You were so caring, so kind. You were creative. You were romantic. Thank you for that. I hardly see romance "alive" anymore. You did the cutest things to make me happy. You gave the best hugs. You had the greatest sense of sarcasm, and I loved how we could joke around with each other. We were perfect together. But then things changed. I guess me being there for you when you had cancer wasn't enough. YOU PUT ME THROUGH HELL. I hardly slept thinking about how you were doing all the time. I was worried, constantly. And you barely took two seconds to tell me "hey, I'm busy, call you later." But that shortly stopped. You came back, and you were DIFFERENT. I wanted you to be the same person that I had shared so many great moments with. And not that cheesy junk either. Legitimate. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! Why did you come back and ignore me, constantly? What kind of boyfriend is that? I didn't do anything wrong to you. YOU MADE ME SO ANGRY. I still have so much anger built up towards you. I forgave you. But I will NEVER forget what you put me through. And yet, I am still trying to start over with you. But you won't give me the time of day. Maybe one day it'll hit you, how good you had it. I don't mean to pat myself on my back, but how many girls would honestly stick with you when you were fighting cancer? Yeah. I'm the only one that I know about, too. I wish things had never happened like this. You ruined my family's trust, and mine. I wish you were the same as before. Why did you have to go and change? And not for the better either. I'm tired of letting you control my feelings, and my life. YOU WILL NOT CONTROL ME ANYMORE. I can't allow it. Maybe, oneday, we can be friends. Yes, I'll miss being your girlfriend. And yes, I'll miss kisses and hugs and holding hands, and being romantic. But I know that I DESERVE BETTER than how you've treated me. I hope and pray that you will realize that.
Dear _________,
You are the strongest person that I have ever met. And I am so glad that we have become the best of friends. I know that you've gone through a lot, and I'm no psychologist, but YOU WILL BE OKAY! I promise. I'm always here. Remember? Your little anchor. And trust me, you'll find someone who you can be yourself around one day. NEVER let anyone make you feel smaller in your skin. You are BEAUTIFUL. And, pretty hilarious if I do say so myself. Be brave. You teach me to be like that everyday.
Dear ____,
I write you letters. Almost on a daily basis. But I never send most of them. Only a few. The rest I rip up and throw away. I miss you. You make me feel so gorgeous. Remember that time that we danced down Main Street? Even though you "don't dance." I loved it. I'm writing you a song. The first line is, "I know I'm not the girl with the last name Moon, but I could still show you the world or two.." You should understand. I feel like I'm constantly chasing after you, and I don't like that. Let's go on our date soon. I hope New York is as beautiful as you make it seem. I'll be visiting soon.
Dear ___,
I'm sorry that I put you in predicaments. I can't help how I feel though. YOU HURT ME so much last Summer. How could I ever allow you to do that again? You can't play with my feelings anymore. I won't be able to handle it. Don't tell me that you "like me" but you just "don't know." That's stupid. I can see where you don't want to be in a relationship. I don't really want to either. BUT DON'T PLAY ME. I'm no idiot. Yeah, maybe one day things will be different. But for now, please don't make this more confusing than it is. It's been wonderful seeing you again.
Dear __,
YOU WILL BE OKAY. Breathe. Your life shouldn't be halfway affected as it has been by the people who are in it. People come, people go. So be it. DO NOT CHASE AFTER ANYONE, EVER. It isn't worth it. One day, you'll find someone who will love you, and chase after YOU, and write you silly notes on sticky notes, and leave flowers on your windowsill. You will be successful. And you will be happy! I'll make sure of it.
Hopelessly,
Stevie.
Dear __,
First of all, let me say how much you have changed my life. I haven't figured out if it is for the good or the bad yet. Probably the bad. But, thanks for being the first guy to take me on dates, instead of "chilling" or "hanging out." That meant so much to me. You were everything that I was looking for. You were attractive, but that wasn't what I noticed about you first. You had the warmest heart. You were so caring, so kind. You were creative. You were romantic. Thank you for that. I hardly see romance "alive" anymore. You did the cutest things to make me happy. You gave the best hugs. You had the greatest sense of sarcasm, and I loved how we could joke around with each other. We were perfect together. But then things changed. I guess me being there for you when you had cancer wasn't enough. YOU PUT ME THROUGH HELL. I hardly slept thinking about how you were doing all the time. I was worried, constantly. And you barely took two seconds to tell me "hey, I'm busy, call you later." But that shortly stopped. You came back, and you were DIFFERENT. I wanted you to be the same person that I had shared so many great moments with. And not that cheesy junk either. Legitimate. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! Why did you come back and ignore me, constantly? What kind of boyfriend is that? I didn't do anything wrong to you. YOU MADE ME SO ANGRY. I still have so much anger built up towards you. I forgave you. But I will NEVER forget what you put me through. And yet, I am still trying to start over with you. But you won't give me the time of day. Maybe one day it'll hit you, how good you had it. I don't mean to pat myself on my back, but how many girls would honestly stick with you when you were fighting cancer? Yeah. I'm the only one that I know about, too. I wish things had never happened like this. You ruined my family's trust, and mine. I wish you were the same as before. Why did you have to go and change? And not for the better either. I'm tired of letting you control my feelings, and my life. YOU WILL NOT CONTROL ME ANYMORE. I can't allow it. Maybe, oneday, we can be friends. Yes, I'll miss being your girlfriend. And yes, I'll miss kisses and hugs and holding hands, and being romantic. But I know that I DESERVE BETTER than how you've treated me. I hope and pray that you will realize that.
Dear _________,
You are the strongest person that I have ever met. And I am so glad that we have become the best of friends. I know that you've gone through a lot, and I'm no psychologist, but YOU WILL BE OKAY! I promise. I'm always here. Remember? Your little anchor. And trust me, you'll find someone who you can be yourself around one day. NEVER let anyone make you feel smaller in your skin. You are BEAUTIFUL. And, pretty hilarious if I do say so myself. Be brave. You teach me to be like that everyday.
Dear ____,
I write you letters. Almost on a daily basis. But I never send most of them. Only a few. The rest I rip up and throw away. I miss you. You make me feel so gorgeous. Remember that time that we danced down Main Street? Even though you "don't dance." I loved it. I'm writing you a song. The first line is, "I know I'm not the girl with the last name Moon, but I could still show you the world or two.." You should understand. I feel like I'm constantly chasing after you, and I don't like that. Let's go on our date soon. I hope New York is as beautiful as you make it seem. I'll be visiting soon.
Dear ___,
I'm sorry that I put you in predicaments. I can't help how I feel though. YOU HURT ME so much last Summer. How could I ever allow you to do that again? You can't play with my feelings anymore. I won't be able to handle it. Don't tell me that you "like me" but you just "don't know." That's stupid. I can see where you don't want to be in a relationship. I don't really want to either. BUT DON'T PLAY ME. I'm no idiot. Yeah, maybe one day things will be different. But for now, please don't make this more confusing than it is. It's been wonderful seeing you again.
Dear __,
YOU WILL BE OKAY. Breathe. Your life shouldn't be halfway affected as it has been by the people who are in it. People come, people go. So be it. DO NOT CHASE AFTER ANYONE, EVER. It isn't worth it. One day, you'll find someone who will love you, and chase after YOU, and write you silly notes on sticky notes, and leave flowers on your windowsill. You will be successful. And you will be happy! I'll make sure of it.
Hopelessly,
Stevie.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"All the world's a stage, and we are merely players."
It's 10:30 and I can't sleep. Kindof have something on my chest, but not sure how to express it. Not like that'll do me good anyways. My stepdad is snoring on the couch and our power just flickered on and off; thank you powersurge chord.
Lately I've been thinking too much about my future, and I ask myself the same question everyday. "What am I going to do with my life?" Not what I want to do, not what is realistic, but what am I going to do? And honestly, I don't know. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm about to start my senior year in high school, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm about to start applying to colleges, and I don't know what I'm going to do. That's terrible. Shouldn't I know by now? I mean, I have options, of course. I could easily pursue theater; my real love in life. I love being on stage, the sense of performance. I feel at home on stage. And I'm just as easily okay with being behind the scenes. Managing a production. But theater isn't a realistic goal. Really, what would I do with that degree? Teach it, surely. But that wouldn't make me happy. And then I thought about business. I've always wanted to own my own coffee shop. But god, that's so expensive. I'll be doing well if I can pay off student loans. I'm not okay with living in debt for forever. But, owning my own coffee shop/restaurant would make me happy. I would look forward to working everyday. And then sometimes I think I would just like to couchsurf my days away. Maybe follow a band, document their trip and successes. Live on the road. Get paid enough just to eat and live off of. And I love that idea. But what would I go to school for? It would all be a waste. And what would happen if I ever wanted to start a family? I can't raise a child on a tour bus.
But I guess everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes we're confused about why, when, or how it happens. But it does, it always will.
I'm not going to say that I don't want a fairytale life, but maybe my fairytale is just a tad different than the rest of the world.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Lately I've been thinking too much about my future, and I ask myself the same question everyday. "What am I going to do with my life?" Not what I want to do, not what is realistic, but what am I going to do? And honestly, I don't know. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm about to start my senior year in high school, and I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm about to start applying to colleges, and I don't know what I'm going to do. That's terrible. Shouldn't I know by now? I mean, I have options, of course. I could easily pursue theater; my real love in life. I love being on stage, the sense of performance. I feel at home on stage. And I'm just as easily okay with being behind the scenes. Managing a production. But theater isn't a realistic goal. Really, what would I do with that degree? Teach it, surely. But that wouldn't make me happy. And then I thought about business. I've always wanted to own my own coffee shop. But god, that's so expensive. I'll be doing well if I can pay off student loans. I'm not okay with living in debt for forever. But, owning my own coffee shop/restaurant would make me happy. I would look forward to working everyday. And then sometimes I think I would just like to couchsurf my days away. Maybe follow a band, document their trip and successes. Live on the road. Get paid enough just to eat and live off of. And I love that idea. But what would I go to school for? It would all be a waste. And what would happen if I ever wanted to start a family? I can't raise a child on a tour bus.
But I guess everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes we're confused about why, when, or how it happens. But it does, it always will.
I'm not going to say that I don't want a fairytale life, but maybe my fairytale is just a tad different than the rest of the world.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Slack, Really.
Well, first of all let me apologize for being so slack. I never have the time anymore to get on here and let you in on my life. But, I can try to recap the past few months.
June 11 I left for Germany. I've decided to go back again, next summer. It was truly a life changing experience, and I will never forget it. I came back home July 3, only to be relocated to a new house in Lugoff. It's not too bad, we actually have lived in this house before; I grew up in Lugoff. But it'll be hard trying to transition into a new school my senior year. SPEAKING OF WHICH; holy crap! I'm a senior. I've been trying to get stuff done for school, register for college courses, get senior pictures taken care of, etc etc. Summer is not supposed to be this hectic.
I also have to find a job, soon. Meh.
Hopefully, I'll be able to adjust soon. I'll keep you updated.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
June 11 I left for Germany. I've decided to go back again, next summer. It was truly a life changing experience, and I will never forget it. I came back home July 3, only to be relocated to a new house in Lugoff. It's not too bad, we actually have lived in this house before; I grew up in Lugoff. But it'll be hard trying to transition into a new school my senior year. SPEAKING OF WHICH; holy crap! I'm a senior. I've been trying to get stuff done for school, register for college courses, get senior pictures taken care of, etc etc. Summer is not supposed to be this hectic.
I also have to find a job, soon. Meh.
Hopefully, I'll be able to adjust soon. I'll keep you updated.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Definitely Not A Dream, And I'm Really Here
My goodness, it's been almost a month since I've been on here.
And my, how times have changed.
So that I will never forget:
March 14: "You make me so happy everytime you come out and tell me what you're feeling inside because it would suck to not be as important to you as you are to me, and those texts let me know that i am. Today is our one month and I'm so stoked about it. There's noone else i'd rather be with today than you, but we've come across a road block and we have to deal with it. But i promise you we have a whole future together, and this time apart is going to be nothing compared to the time we spend together. Just wait. :)"
March 20: "Well I know you love me a lot so damn girl, how much do you love me?"
"I love you too babe. More than you know." 'Oh yeah, how much?' "How far does the universe go?"
March 29: "I love you so much babe. You have no idea."
"I still have like a few minutes before I get knocked out. But I promised you I would at least text you. You are amazing."
"I know you do babe. I love you too."
"Any minute now. Literally it should be like now."
"I'm so happy babe."
March 30: "I'm good baby girl!"
April 4: "I love you too baby girl! You are so awesome. I really miss you. A ton. You have no idea how much I've been thinking about you."
April 7: "I love you too babe. So much."
"Oh. I don't see how that's possible. I'm going to be cancer free soon, this is a good thing to me."
April 10: "I love you too babe."
"Goodnight babe. I love you a ton."
April 14: "Good morning babe. I just wanted to tell you that I loved you and that I hope you have a great day."
"Happy two months for sure. I love you so much babe :)"
April 15: "Babe. You're too awesome."
"Because you're just amazing. Seriously. No other girl would wait for me to finish everything with this cancer nonsense. Especially this early in a relationship. We've actually been apart longer than we've been together. That's nuts."
April 25: "I'll see you soon though babe, so don't worry about it."
"I pinky promise. Sooner than you think."
"Yeah. I have that affect on people :) I love you too babe. You just don't know."
"Na. Definitely not a dream and I'm really here."
They're all but memories, now.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
And my, how times have changed.
So that I will never forget:
March 14: "You make me so happy everytime you come out and tell me what you're feeling inside because it would suck to not be as important to you as you are to me, and those texts let me know that i am. Today is our one month and I'm so stoked about it. There's noone else i'd rather be with today than you, but we've come across a road block and we have to deal with it. But i promise you we have a whole future together, and this time apart is going to be nothing compared to the time we spend together. Just wait. :)"
March 20: "Well I know you love me a lot so damn girl, how much do you love me?"
"I love you too babe. More than you know." 'Oh yeah, how much?' "How far does the universe go?"
March 29: "I love you so much babe. You have no idea."
"I still have like a few minutes before I get knocked out. But I promised you I would at least text you. You are amazing."
"I know you do babe. I love you too."
"Any minute now. Literally it should be like now."
"I'm so happy babe."
March 30: "I'm good baby girl!"
April 4: "I love you too baby girl! You are so awesome. I really miss you. A ton. You have no idea how much I've been thinking about you."
April 7: "I love you too babe. So much."
"Oh. I don't see how that's possible. I'm going to be cancer free soon, this is a good thing to me."
April 10: "I love you too babe."
"Goodnight babe. I love you a ton."
April 14: "Good morning babe. I just wanted to tell you that I loved you and that I hope you have a great day."
"Happy two months for sure. I love you so much babe :)"
April 15: "Babe. You're too awesome."
"Because you're just amazing. Seriously. No other girl would wait for me to finish everything with this cancer nonsense. Especially this early in a relationship. We've actually been apart longer than we've been together. That's nuts."
April 25: "I'll see you soon though babe, so don't worry about it."
"I pinky promise. Sooner than you think."
"Yeah. I have that affect on people :) I love you too babe. You just don't know."
"Na. Definitely not a dream and I'm really here."
They're all but memories, now.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Thursday, April 15, 2010
That's How God's Work Goes
I was given the task of writing a 3 to 5 minute monologue for a state theater competition, which we are no longer going to, but nonetheless, I had to perform it in class, and made some people cry.
I wrote it about PJ, well, a fictional PJ. Based on him. And a fictional me. So, here it is. Hope you like it.
"I knew all about how the peaches grew, and that's when I grew, too.
Born and raised in a Southern haze.
Exposed to those that didn't know about the knowings everyone else knew.
But I guess it would've been hard for them, too.
It took me awhile to figure out life.
It took me walking across the Gervais bridge, to a life I never thought I'd know. But I guess that's how God's work goes.
And is it ironic how he sent me to you?
I guess he knew what you were going through.
You were my angel, too.
But I hated how you grew up, pure luck.
With a skyline view.
I bet the city is nice at night.
It's good comfort when you're all alone, not in a good home.
Two blocks too many to break into, lay on your back in a pool, if you wanted to.
But I guess that's city living, and that's how God's work goes.
And does God create coincidences too?
Just happened to have me run into you?
I guess I'd have to blame it on the city.
And me being pretty.
And you being witty.
Big headed? Hardly.
And does God create paths in our lives?
If so, I don't think we went the way we were supposed to go.
You had to leave.
So there was me.
Walking in the city alone. Unknown.
My heartbeat matching every step I took.
And just one wrong look, was all it took.
Sending me spiraling into a phase of emotional rage.
Then the world grew quiet.
If only for a little while.
And I kept seeing you with an outstretched hand.
You were always the better man.
You were strong, too.
Fought harder than anyone else.
And I knew that your hospital bed was cold.
But your heart wasn't.
I knew.
I knew because you told me, too.
How long your days were.
You've never spent them alone before, without me.
It's gotta be a hard transition.
I miss you, too.
Funny how it works.
How God works.
Throwing obstacles into our lives, a million times over again.
But it's for the best, in the end.
Or at least that's what I told myself.
Still looked at your picture on the shelf, everyday.
Cause it must've been God's way.
He threw you into my life, out of spite?
No.
A blessing to show.
And you're the only love that I've ever known.
But I guess that's how God's work goes.
You finally came home again.
And I was the happiest that I had ever been.
You and your outstretched hand.
Both of us walking towards the city.
Remembering the world as it used to be.
Warm summers and cute restaurants.
Running and laughter and wonderful thoughts.
And each other.
That's how I always remembered you."
I wrote it about PJ, well, a fictional PJ. Based on him. And a fictional me. So, here it is. Hope you like it.
"I knew all about how the peaches grew, and that's when I grew, too.
Born and raised in a Southern haze.
Exposed to those that didn't know about the knowings everyone else knew.
But I guess it would've been hard for them, too.
It took me awhile to figure out life.
It took me walking across the Gervais bridge, to a life I never thought I'd know. But I guess that's how God's work goes.
And is it ironic how he sent me to you?
I guess he knew what you were going through.
You were my angel, too.
But I hated how you grew up, pure luck.
With a skyline view.
I bet the city is nice at night.
It's good comfort when you're all alone, not in a good home.
Two blocks too many to break into, lay on your back in a pool, if you wanted to.
But I guess that's city living, and that's how God's work goes.
And does God create coincidences too?
Just happened to have me run into you?
I guess I'd have to blame it on the city.
And me being pretty.
And you being witty.
Big headed? Hardly.
And does God create paths in our lives?
If so, I don't think we went the way we were supposed to go.
You had to leave.
So there was me.
Walking in the city alone. Unknown.
My heartbeat matching every step I took.
And just one wrong look, was all it took.
Sending me spiraling into a phase of emotional rage.
Then the world grew quiet.
If only for a little while.
And I kept seeing you with an outstretched hand.
You were always the better man.
You were strong, too.
Fought harder than anyone else.
And I knew that your hospital bed was cold.
But your heart wasn't.
I knew.
I knew because you told me, too.
How long your days were.
You've never spent them alone before, without me.
It's gotta be a hard transition.
I miss you, too.
Funny how it works.
How God works.
Throwing obstacles into our lives, a million times over again.
But it's for the best, in the end.
Or at least that's what I told myself.
Still looked at your picture on the shelf, everyday.
Cause it must've been God's way.
He threw you into my life, out of spite?
No.
A blessing to show.
And you're the only love that I've ever known.
But I guess that's how God's work goes.
You finally came home again.
And I was the happiest that I had ever been.
You and your outstretched hand.
Both of us walking towards the city.
Remembering the world as it used to be.
Warm summers and cute restaurants.
Running and laughter and wonderful thoughts.
And each other.
That's how I always remembered you."
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Blue Satin Sashes
My goodness, it sure has been awhile. I've been so busy it's ridiculous. The German exchange has been wonderful so far, I've made so many new friends and love every single one of them :) Miriam and I have gone on several adventures so far. We've been to the Biltmore House, to the river, down to five points for some coffee and shopping, Mellow Mushroom for a wonderful slice of pizza, out to the mall, ice skating, the side of the interstate with my blown tire (i'll put some pictures up of that later), hanging in the Dave Cave, watching old movies, and tomorrow we're going to Myrtle Beach. I'm looking forward to going to Charleston friday, and hopefully I won't run into any people from my past.
Quick PJ update:
His surgery went well, except for they didn't remove 1% of his tumor, so that will be taken care of tomorrow. I hope everyone is still keeping him in their prayers. His birthday is coming up... I have no idea what I'm going to get him. Suggestions?
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Quick PJ update:
His surgery went well, except for they didn't remove 1% of his tumor, so that will be taken care of tomorrow. I hope everyone is still keeping him in their prayers. His birthday is coming up... I have no idea what I'm going to get him. Suggestions?
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Miriam :-)
My exchange student is finally here!
We've had so much fun, and perhaps when I have more time I will write more.
She is wonderful.
:)
Hopelessly,
Stevie
We've had so much fun, and perhaps when I have more time I will write more.
She is wonderful.
:)
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Dear World,
I am so exhausted. Body, mind, and soul.
PJ had a seizure last night, and went to the hospital. Just thinking about how sick he was makes me want to cry over and over again. So please, keep him in your prayers.
People are getting ridiculous at work, and have no respect for one another. It puts me in a bad mood everytime that I work. I'm looking forward to not working for several weeks coming up soon. I need a break, bad.
I'm stressed about learning all of my lines for the play, and I hate how I miss so much rehearsal time.
I just want to sit in a hole and cry.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
PJ had a seizure last night, and went to the hospital. Just thinking about how sick he was makes me want to cry over and over again. So please, keep him in your prayers.
People are getting ridiculous at work, and have no respect for one another. It puts me in a bad mood everytime that I work. I'm looking forward to not working for several weeks coming up soon. I need a break, bad.
I'm stressed about learning all of my lines for the play, and I hate how I miss so much rehearsal time.
I just want to sit in a hole and cry.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Oh Please, Fairy Godmother?!
Everyday I find moments in time where I am inspired to write lyrics down.
I need a handy-dandy notebook.
And maybe one day, a beautiful song will appear.
I'm sorry that this is dull.
I'm too tired to write much more.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
I need a handy-dandy notebook.
And maybe one day, a beautiful song will appear.
I'm sorry that this is dull.
I'm too tired to write much more.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Friday, March 19, 2010
And We'll Dance About And Noone Will Care
If there's one thing I hate in this world, it would have to be vomitting. Sorry for that image, but that's all that I've been doing the past couple of days. I'm finally starting to feel a little bit better. I'm able to drink Sprite and Ginger Ale, and I ate some Saltine crackers and a banana earlier.
So, here's a little countdown for you.
-8 days until my exchange student, Miriam, gets here.
-10 days until PJ's brain surgery.
-14 days until the Junior Astronomers/Sweet Vans show.
-14 days until Spring Break.
-17 days until a massive road trip with Lena, Rebekah, Miriam, and Katherine.
-22 days until Carowinds with the Germans.
-23 days until PJ's birthday.
-29 days until the Germans leave. ):
-36 days until Lugoff-Elgin prom with Mitch.
-48 days until the opening show of Much Ado About Nothing
-84 days until we leave for Germany!
That should be enough of a countdown for now, :)
Sometime in there, mom and I are going to drive to Missouri to pick up PJ and bring him home and take care of him. And also, school is ending soon. :-) I'm so ready for summer.
Tomorrow, if I feel strong enough to get up and move about, I'm going to be cleaning out my room, as well as the living room and my bathroom, trying to get ready for when Miriam gets here. I'm not too excited about the cleaning part, but I have good motivation. :)
Some bands that are so worth listening to, if you haven't already. Check them out! Buy their cds, and go to their shows :) They're the best, pinky promise ;)
http://www.myspace.com/harvard
http://www.myspace.com/juniorastronomers
http://www.myspace.com/sweetvanssc
Hopelessly,
Stevie
So, here's a little countdown for you.
-8 days until my exchange student, Miriam, gets here.
-10 days until PJ's brain surgery.
-14 days until the Junior Astronomers/Sweet Vans show.
-14 days until Spring Break.
-17 days until a massive road trip with Lena, Rebekah, Miriam, and Katherine.
-22 days until Carowinds with the Germans.
-23 days until PJ's birthday.
-29 days until the Germans leave. ):
-36 days until Lugoff-Elgin prom with Mitch.
-48 days until the opening show of Much Ado About Nothing
-84 days until we leave for Germany!
That should be enough of a countdown for now, :)
Sometime in there, mom and I are going to drive to Missouri to pick up PJ and bring him home and take care of him. And also, school is ending soon. :-) I'm so ready for summer.
Tomorrow, if I feel strong enough to get up and move about, I'm going to be cleaning out my room, as well as the living room and my bathroom, trying to get ready for when Miriam gets here. I'm not too excited about the cleaning part, but I have good motivation. :)
Some bands that are so worth listening to, if you haven't already. Check them out! Buy their cds, and go to their shows :) They're the best, pinky promise ;)
http://www.myspace.com/harvard
http://www.myspace.com/juniorastronomers
http://www.myspace.com/sweetvanssc
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I Left My Head And My Heart On The Dancefloor
I apologize, but I already know that this post will be a short one.
Daily complaints:
I am exhausted. Work drains me.
I miss my boyfriend, and haven't talked to him all day because his phone is dead.
My back hurts.
I'm hungry but this snackwrap is just gross.
I'm stressing about living in the living room for three weeks.
On another note, school is getting easier for me. Last semester was just awful, to say the least. Calculus was killing me. Ever since I can remember math has been my strongest subject, but for some reason I was just not doing well. Do I blame it on the teacher? Somewhat. His teaching style is so different. Or maybe it was just the material. Or maybe it was just me, and a lack of caring. I honestly remember waking up in the morning last semester saying "Oh, today should be fun. Minus Calculus class." Isn't that awful? But anyways, this semester is way better. Calculus is easier. I loveeee chemistry. It's wonderful. Drama 3 is great too. And English 5? Yeah, also wonderful. Landrum makes my day.
And if you haven't heard of Pomplamoose, I'm about to blow your mind. <3
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Daily complaints:
I am exhausted. Work drains me.
I miss my boyfriend, and haven't talked to him all day because his phone is dead.
My back hurts.
I'm hungry but this snackwrap is just gross.
I'm stressing about living in the living room for three weeks.
On another note, school is getting easier for me. Last semester was just awful, to say the least. Calculus was killing me. Ever since I can remember math has been my strongest subject, but for some reason I was just not doing well. Do I blame it on the teacher? Somewhat. His teaching style is so different. Or maybe it was just the material. Or maybe it was just me, and a lack of caring. I honestly remember waking up in the morning last semester saying "Oh, today should be fun. Minus Calculus class." Isn't that awful? But anyways, this semester is way better. Calculus is easier. I loveeee chemistry. It's wonderful. Drama 3 is great too. And English 5? Yeah, also wonderful. Landrum makes my day.
And if you haven't heard of Pomplamoose, I'm about to blow your mind. <3
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Monday, March 15, 2010
822.24 Miles Away From Me
As you may or may not know, my boyfriend PJ is currently in St. Louis, Missouri waiting to have his brain surgery done. Yes, brain surgery. PJ has Oligodendroglioma Stage 2; a malignant tumor. Is it hard for us right now? Actually, not really. I mean, yes, I miss him with every ounce of my being and I'm sure he feels the same, but we both know that this surgery is absolutely necessary. March 29th is the date for when the procedure will be done. I will be a complete nervous wreck the entire day.
PJ has taught me so many things, but I don't think he realizes it. The most important thing that I've learned from him is that you have to live every single day like it's your very last one. I cherish every moment that I get to spend with him, get to talk to him. And I cannot wait to see him again. But that time will quickly be here.
On a more positive note, my exchange student Miriam will be here in 12 days! :) I'm so excited to have her staying here with me. Even though she'll only be here for three weeks, I know that we're going to have a blast together. She's already like a sister to me :) I'll be sure to put up pictures when she's here.
Oh hey, watch this video.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
PJ has taught me so many things, but I don't think he realizes it. The most important thing that I've learned from him is that you have to live every single day like it's your very last one. I cherish every moment that I get to spend with him, get to talk to him. And I cannot wait to see him again. But that time will quickly be here.
On a more positive note, my exchange student Miriam will be here in 12 days! :) I'm so excited to have her staying here with me. Even though she'll only be here for three weeks, I know that we're going to have a blast together. She's already like a sister to me :) I'll be sure to put up pictures when she's here.
Oh hey, watch this video.
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Sunday, March 14, 2010
So Much For Rebelling Conformity
I've finally made a blog for myself, and I apologize for not doing so sooner. My antics for non-conforming have finally failed. So anyways, I plan on updating this frequently. It should get interesting. In the meantime, please be patient with me as I figure it out. Also, if you haven't already, lurk me on these sites:
Facebook: Stevie Laughead
http://formspring.me/stevielaughead
http://www.myspace.com/hopelessly_stevie
And feel free to give my band a listen.
http://www.myspace.com/compromisethedownpour
http://youtube.com/compthedownpour
Hopelessly,
Stevie
Facebook: Stevie Laughead
http://formspring.me/stevielaughead
http://www.myspace.com/hopelessly_stevie
And feel free to give my band a listen.
http://www.myspace.com/compromisethedownpour
http://youtube.com/compthedownpour
Hopelessly,
Stevie
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